This project focuses on people who have been through different things and how God has helped them and is still helping them. The posts you will be reading are God-stories from different people who have chosen to share.
This project also aims at spreading the word of hope, grace and God’s love so that as you read you too can begin your own journey towards healing through God’s love.
We hope that as you read, you are blessed. Join us every Saturday for a new. God-story. Please do drop your comments, your feedback is important to us.
Today’s story is written by one of our readers, who wants to remain Anonymous.
The Dawn Of A New Day
“Nobody is perfect. Everybody might be smiling but only God knows what’s going on on their insides.
I’m not sad, I’m one of the happiest people. I have joy, I’m untouchable. I have a story but I have not let it define who I am. I am not my story, my story is only a part of who I was.
I was probably 9 when I was abused. I’ll explain. I let him touch me, and try to stick his thing in me. Somehow it didn’t get in, I don’t know how or why but I’m glad I wasn’t raped. You see I say I was abused because I had no idea what I was doing. He took advantage of this ignorance.
I moved on from that. Then I got to jss3 and fell in “love”. She was a girl like me, she made feel like I was everything to her, she was everything to me. I knew it was bound to happen but as I was, I let it. I let her touch me, feel me up… I liked it, what did I know?
I stopped praying, I ran away from God. I would not read my Bible, I stopped all of that, I did not care. I was cold, I was depressed. I cut myself, I stuck pins in my hair so I’ll get headaches. Physical pain over emotional trauma. But I always went back to her, I was in love right? Lol.
She would come to my dorm room every Friday. She was two years older. Then one day she wanted to stop, talked about turning point and God. I was happy. But that night she came back, she wanted more, i didn’t. I hated it, I hated her, I hated myself. But I lay there with eye’s wide open till it was over. She told me the next day that it was a test to see if I would give in.
I became a monster, I did not care. More cuts, more depression, all that nonsense. I was lucky I was in school. I had plans, to drink, to smoke and have a baby at 18 (just to see how it was).
She said we could get married. After school, we would leave the country and our families. I liked the idea. It all stopped after a while. My parents did not like her, we had to stay away from each other. We eventually did, but not immediately.
She left school, left me with the rumors and all. She left me, I , moved on. I had gotten over the “love”. We had several fights but we still talked. I was depressed, I cried, I hated it. Why me?
But I moved on. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I lost myself. I found my ability to write but I wrote mostly about death and abuse. I eventually told my parents. They prayed with me, I felt better, I was free. I still got into trouble but I was a lot better. My teachers felt that since she was gone I would be the perfect student I was. My grades suffered luckily for me it wasn’t bad and it was the term after junior waec. But God began a process. It was hard, I felt uncomfortable around girls. I never let things get out of hand, I always took the blame, I did not trust any one else to and I didn’t want to have to depend on anyone. I stayed away from people, I did not want friends.
I cannot say exactly where it all changed but it did. It was a process but I took it one day after the other. I let go, I let God. So today I’m not the girl who lives her last. I had a story, I’m a new person. I’m the girl with the “perfect” life. I’m still taking steps but I make sure that my story doesn’t determine what my steps will be. When I smile, it’s mostly genuine. I smile sometimes to mask my pain but I do not allow my emotions overwhelm me. Thank God I have God, He helps me do this. I have Him, I have everything and I take the opportunity He gives everyday me to rewrite my story.
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Thanks for reading, I hope you were blessed. You can key into the testimony of today’s writer, You can get yours too.
“Let go and Let God, He heals”
You can send in your own God-stories to ibukunawosika@yahoo.com
Together, let’s spread the Gospel of love, of grace, and of hope.
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