You know how people are just like “In everything give thanks”, it’s so easy to say. Like it just rolls off their tongues like “look at me here quoting all these Bible scriptures and sturvs” and you’re just there like Ugh-________- . It’s the worst thing to hear when you’ve just been through hell trust me. Or when people say it’s the will of God for something bad to have happened and you’re just there asking how? I can’t even begin to explain. The dilemma of trying to figure out how people can think that God who is so good will let such happen to you. It’s confusing.
2014 has been an “I have no words to describe it” year. It was so good till September when my sister fell Ill. If you know me you’ll know I literally adore my sister. I was at the hospital every weekend staying over some times and most of the time she wasn’t even awake. Eventually she passed on. I almost died. I prayed to die. I just wanted to be with my sister and of course there were the “In everything give thanks” people. My God. Then the “it’s God’s will” people. I almost ran mad trying to figure out how God could have taken my best friend from me and think that it was okay. The morning of her burial myself, my brother and parents came together to pray and as we sang praises to God we cried. The pain was so much but we should give thanks right? To be honest I was angry and sad beyond words, giving thanks was the last thing I wanted to be doing.
The only thing that seemed to be working after that was my business “Fiber Rose”. I thanked God for that. If he thought taking Ore was okay then He was at least doing something. And one of the days while I was doing that the Holy Spirit stops me and says “Has it ever occurred to you that the reason your business keeps flourishing is cause you give thanks for it?”
GBAM! ! ! GBOSA! ! ! GBAM GBAM! ! !
That’s when every thing changed. I started giving God thanks. Even when I was crying cause I missed my sister I still managed to say thank You to God. At least she wasn’t in pain that was one thing to thank Him for. I thanked Him that I knew her, had her and loved her because she is a huge part of what I am today. I kept trying to look for little things to thank Him for and to be honest I’m the better for it. I don’t fully understand why I happened but I’m happy. I don’t want to die but live long enough to fulfill my dreams and even my sister’s.
It might seem like everything isn’t working but trust me something is. God said on everything give thanks because He knew there will be times where we just can’t and that’s when He wants us to even more. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. It’ll be hard and it’ll hurt but God sees what we go through and He’ll find a way to ease our pain. Look for the little things… that you can see, that you are where you are, that one thing is working and you’ll start to see 1,2,3 and many other things that are working. Everything else might not compare to what you lost but you still have everything else to be grateful for. And then watch God make everything else become something that you’re really thankful for. I’ve been there, I understand. And if you ever just need to rant, let me know. We all a need that some times :)
I love you
God loves you more <3
Aunty Hotstuff <3 <3